I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I wanted to post my talk I gave in church last Sunday! have a great day baking, eating, shopping and spending time with those you love!!
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I was having a really hard time this week in starting to write this talk and I wondered to myself if it was because I wasn’t feeling very grateful and I was having a slight pity party about life. I prayed and tried to figure out what I should talk about regarding this subject and came across two amazing talks that helped me a lot. The first talk is by Vaughn E. Worthen called “The Value of Experiencing and Expressing Gratitude” and the second is “Finding Joy in the Journey” by President Monson.
So what is gratitude? The Dictionary states that gratitude is appreciating what you have received.
Vaughn Worthen says
“Gratitude is a positive experience that comes from recognizing gifts or blessings and feeling thankful. It is also an attitude, a way of perceiving life, in which individuals are willing to receive and acknowledge the beneficial actions of others on their behalf. Those who consistently display such an attitude are said to have a grateful disposition. Gratitude is also a habit that can be cultivated, causing one to focus on the blessings of life. Finally, gratitude can be defined as a coping response to challenging or difficult circumstances. Gratitude can have a profound effect on perspective, completely determining or altering the way we look at an experience. “
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 it says, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
So In ALL things we need to give thanks. That’s not very easy especially when dealing with hard things.
In Alma 37:37 it says, “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”
President Thomas S. Monson said, “We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude.”
And Elder Robert D. Hales said “in some quiet way, the expression and feelings of gratitude have a wonderful cleansing or healing nature. … Gratitude brings a peace that helps us overcome the pain of adversity and failure. Truly, following the words of prophets to live with a sense of gratitude invites a spirit of happiness into our lives.”
President Monsons talk Finding Joy in the Journey was an amazing talk…he says,
“Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly.
If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.
This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.
Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.
Recently a close friend of mine had her mother pass away. This has been a very hard thing for her to go through. She was very close to her mom as most girls are to their mothers, but she was also the only girl of 6 boys in her family. In a recent conversation I had with her she mentioned how people say they are grateful for their trials and that she doesn’t understand why anyone say that. It is kind of an odd statement to say, “I a grateful for my trials” Why would you be grateful your mom died, or you lost a child or a family member went astray. As I started to ponder her question I thought about why anyone would say that, and the thought came to me that it is not the trail they are grateful for, but the things they learn from going through that trial. And sometimes the things you learn from going through a trial might not even become apparent until years down the road long after you have gone through that trial.
Brother Worthen says,
“Current case studies and research show that cultivating and practicing gratitude can reduce symptoms in cases of mild to moderate depression and anxiety. Practicing gratitude can also lead to increases in optimism, vitality, happiness, a sense of well-being, and a greater satisfaction with life. Grateful people tend to generate more positive memories, reminding them of the good in their lives. Those with higher levels of gratitude are viewed as more empathetic and supportive, more forgiving, and more likely to assist others. Grateful people also report feeling less envious and more generous with their possessions. They thus enjoy better quality relationships.
Gratitude also helps in coping with adversity. Those who practice it in times of adversity are more likely to seek and find a “silver lining” in their experiences. Finally, those who try to feel greater levels of gratitude report fewer physical complaints, more time spent in physical exercise, and better sleep duration and quality.”
He goes on to talk about different ways we can cultivate gratitude in ourselves and others…he says,“Even if we are not currently in the habit of feeling and showing gratitude, we can make it a way of life.
About 3 years ago our family decided to start something new before we went to bed. after we read our scriptures together at night we “say our gratitudes” It has been a great thing for our family each night to think about a couple of things that we are grateful for and express them to each other. It is also fun to hear what they come up with…our Jackson could go on all day!!
The following are some ideas for recognizing blessings and expressing thanks from Vaughn Worthen…
•Keep a Gratitude Journal–Record daily or several times a week three to five blessings or “tender mercies” you have felt or experienced
•Make a Gratitude Visit–Think about someone who has been kind or has done something for you whom you have never properly thanked.
•Express Prayers of Gratitude–Regularly dedicate an entire prayer to your expressions of gratitude.
•Train Yourself to Use Gratitude Language–Make a habit of writing letters of appreciation. Say thank you frequently to your loved ones and also to cashiers, postal workers, and others who serve you in any capacity.
•Recognize That Things Could Be Worse
•Enjoy the Journey
•Learn the Art of Being Content-
Paul declared, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians 4:11). He further taught, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). It is tempting to complain and murmur when life is challenging and things don’t appear to be working out as we wish. We learn from Nephi in his great afflictions on his journey: “I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16). The people of Ammon “praised God even in the very act of perishing under the sword” (Alma 24:23). The act of thanking and praising has great power to help us endure and is one of the surest methods for increasing happiness. It is also a way to define our relationship with God, from whom all blessings flow.
Recognize the blessings that a loving Heavenly Father so generously bestows on us. And as we acknowledge these gifts of grace, our expressions of gratitude can become an expression of faith in Him.
•Eliminate Ungrateful Thoughts–Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wisely counseled, “No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.”10 Identify and list your complaining and ungrateful thoughts, and replace them with grateful thoughts and problem-solving strategies. We are prone to be more grateful when we recall how others have contributed to our success and happiness and when we focus on positive action rather than passive complaining.
This last weekend I was at Time Out for women and Hillary Weeks was one of the speakers and she talked about our thoughts. She had heard a statistic that we as humans have over 300 negative thoughts per day, so she bought a clicker and tested it out. She did it for 6 days and clicked between 100-150 negative thoughts a day {knowing she had probably missed some.
She said she “After several days I felt down, depressed and discouraged. I was really surprised by the effect that simple, tiny act of “clicking” each negative thought had on my mood. I guess that is why King Benjamin told us in the Book of Mormon to “watch ourselves and our thoughts.” And maybe that is why we are told in the Doctrine and Covenants to “let virtue (or power) garnish our thoughts unceasingly.” So I switched. I quit counting negative thoughts and started counting the positive thoughts. It was SO. MUCH. BETTER. I loved “clicking” all the positive, uplifting, inspiring, gratitude-filled thoughts I could fill my mind with.”
Life is not perfect it is not easy…so how can we feel gratitude daily in our lives and not let hard things, change or daily struggles get to us. A few months ago I was having a regular morning of trying to get to the library…i wasn’t particularly grumpy, but just in a hurry to get things done and get to the library with my kids. When we got there I opened the door and Maddie looked up at me and said, “Mom you need to enjoy your life while you still have it” Wow I thought. What profound words coming from a 7 year old. I do need to enjoy my life here on earth.
President Monson closes his talk by saying “Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”10 May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey.”
And I just want to add my testimony to that and tell you how grateful I am for my life, for all that God has given me and for the many great examples in my life who help and teach me daily. I am grateful for good friends and neighbors who help me with my kids, who go on walks with me or just chat with me when I need to talk to another adult. I am grateful to serve in my calling and for the wonderful people I get to work with. I am grateful for my husband and his love for me and the daily things he does for me. For my kids and how awesome they are and how much they teach me. I am grateful for the gospel in my life and for the scriptures and the things I learn from them. I am grateful for the temple and the peace I feel when I am there. I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ, and for the companionship of the Holy Ghost in my life. I am grateful for the things I have learned in preparing this talk and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!!!!
Kendra, that sounds like a awesome talk. I know that I need to hear things like that often. Life as a women and mother can get very frustrating sometimes and it helps to think that things could be worse and that I need to enjoy each moment that I have here on earth.
Thank you for sharing your talk. I really enjoyed it and needed it. Funny, I too spoke a couple of weeks ago and while preparing mine felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Even for my trials of which one was losing my mother. Strange I know, but the reality of the Eternities shines much stronger knowing my mother is in Heaven and watching out for me. Then after my talk about trails, family, etc… my son broke his leg that night and it continues… ha ha. So after my weeks of murmuring your talk is helping me come back to a grateful heart. Thanks for that. I’ll also be participating in your 25 days of Christmas. I’m excited!
Thank you Kendra for blogging and for your wonderful YW handouts. Today we learn about the importance of gratitude. Thank you for your words and example.